Frailwords

I am utterly in love with the fantabulous readers of FreelanceSwitch! Your dozens of comments and additions to the original post were classic, creative and straight comedy!

Here’s the sequel post, inspired by and attributed to the brilliant and magnificent readers of FreelanceSwitch:

You Know You’re a Freelancer When . . .

1. Your idea of a casual day out involves being dressed to the nines with an extra splash of *bling bling* because, hey… “after six weeks in PJs, I’m ready for my close up dahling!” ~ Inspired by Storm and Izabela Tenenboim
2. Your internet playground PC (or Mac – yeah that’s right, I’m not a hater!) that used to be your gateway to World of Warcraft is now your productivity prison. “Ah and I used to have a life!” ~ Inspired by Nabeel Amin
3. Your therapist starts asking you why you talk to yourself… and answer yourself… and then said therapist asks you to click “Send” to submit your response. ~ Inspired by Mark Hawkins
4. I’ve got TWO WORDS for you: Bunny Slippers!! ~ Inspired by Ben Tzu
5. You are overly and dangerously obsessed with checking your mail. {And your baffled mail man is wondering why you’re tugging at his pant cuff instead of the rabid dog he’s used to fending off.} ~ Inspired by Susan Johnston, Izabela Tenenboim, Amanda, and Michael Kwan
6. You can’t relate to Office Space, but Freelance Freedom has you off your chair in stitches. “Yep, been there…” ~ Inspired by Janed
7. You’ve got to schedule intimacy into your To Do list and your family begins communicating with you via email. (Just to make sure you heard me, even though I’m sitting right next to you… hello? Are you even paying att… oh forget it.) ~ Inspired by Kathy and Amanda
8. You’re beginning to suspect that your iPod is developing an uncanny intuition or an unyielding sense of devilish humor. “Oh I love this song!” quickly evolves into “Wait, didn’t I just hear this song?” ~ Inspired by Andy and his 1200 song iPod playlist
9. Virtual colleagues you’ve never met know more about you than your physical friends. Plus you start telling more stories about them than you do about your own life… (yep, that’s right. Get out of the house much?) ~ Inspired by Natalia
10. 9 to 5 sometimes means PM to AM. Yeah that whole growing without sunlight thing… funny how that works. ~ Inspired by Barbara Camisa
11. Blogging about every position your cat collapses into… or that hot new brush palette for Photoshop… actually feels like you’re engaging in a social life {Yes comments = “my life has meaning” and I’m okay with that!} ~ Inspired by ameetkarn
12. Your car still has the full tank of gas you put in it a week ago and you’re curiously intrigued by everyone’s meltdown over gas prices. ~ Inspired by Misti Sandafar
13. Showers get regulated to the afternoon, evening or… because hey, you can take that first 8am (or 11am in my case!) phone call in your PJs. And then the follow up emails, oh and that fascinating conversation happening on Facebook, oh and I better update my status so everyone knows my dog just farted, and… ~ Inspired by Vio
14. Your friends have to ambush you 20 days in advance (and don’t forget how they strong arm you into pre-purchase tickets with your credit card) just to get you out to the cinema for an evening. ~ Inspired by Marta
15. Love in your household means knowing how to say “Yep honey, just finishing up this email!” ~ Inspired by Marta and Ginette
16. Rush hour traffic no longer affects you. You’re just glad to be driving anywhere because AMEN! it means you’re out of the house! ~ Inspired by Julie Parenteau
17. Your idea of a heinous disaster is losing internet access or being relegated to dial up speed. “What do you mean the internet will be spotty here? I was told when I purchased these plane tickets that I’d have internet access! {Um yeah… it’s coming from SPACE and you’re 30,000 frickin feet in the AIR!} ~ Inspired by Rexaniel and a hilarious Conan O’ Brien skit with Louis C. K.
18. You reorganize your family’s sleeping arrangements just to make sure your home office is a write off. ~ Inspired by Chris Cade

And my favorites

• You know you’re a freelancer when you have to set an iCal reminder to eat your breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus don’t you dare forget that alarm to remind you that the house is about to burn down and yes, you forgot that roast in the oven again! ~ Inspired by Barbara Camisa and Amanda (Honey, I have done this more times than I can count! I can’t even boil water without setting something on fire anymore…)
• You know you’re a freelancer when your best work is crafted upon the Porcelain God and “Um, no Mrs. Client, I have no idea what that flushing noise was you just heard…”  ~ Inspired by Heather Allard (This is one of my pet peeves when others do this but I find it endlessly hilarious nonetheless!)

Thank you to all of you who shared your ideas, your heart, and your most comedic moments in freelance life. We are all defined by the moments that we make. Here’s to knowing we’re freelancers and being proud of it!

View full post on FreelanceSwitch

Here’s a celebration of all the ways we are uniquely freelancers… set apart from our cubicle counterparts, yet aware that we are perhaps still not so different. Or are we? Enjoy!

You Know You’re a Freelancer When…

1. You’re starting to grumble about your 5-step commute from the bed to your computer.  The snooze button is soooo much closer…
2. The car stays parked in your garage for days at a time and somehow you continue to grow without sunlight.
3. You can vacation as often as you want now. Chained to your computer and phone, yeah, but hey: the ocean looks beautiful from here and yes honey, I’ll join you out there in a moment!
4. Working in the buff is actually an option! Just remember to switch your Skype chat default to “Answer with NO Video!”
5. Work begins stalking you around the house, skulking and whining like an unloved pup. Work is home is office is everywhere – ACK! I’m sure there’s a zen proverb around here somewhere…
6. You finally remove all the fart jokes and Mafia Wars from your Facebook Profile because your playground just became your chief marketing and advertising venue.
7. Laptop parties with your freelance buddies are your brilliant attempt at “having a life” and still getting things done.
8. You catch yourself bouncing ideas off of your apathetic cat and your chatterbox four-year old.
9. You start playing pranks on your unsuspecting canine because you miss the office shenanigans.
10. You finally get paid for knowing more than the person who hired you.
11. Strangling yourself with the laptop chord is a popular and approved reaction to client emails and phone calls.
12. Friends pimp you out for favors: “Oh yeah, I have a friend that can do that for you. I’m sure he’ll do it for super cheap. In fact, we’re good friends, I bet he’ll do it for free!”
13. You can justify anything to one client by simply referencing a vague “other client.” {Yes of course I’d love to have a 5am meeting for your East Coast team! Unfortunately, I’ve already booked that slot with my Australian client.}
14. Social sites your old boss banned aren’t even fun to visit now because they’re actually on your Client Acquisition To Do list.
15. You talk excitedly about the latest WordPress plugin or Photoshop brush you just downloaded… and the barista was only asking for your coffee order. {“It’s just so lonely working from home, you see. Nice to have someone to talk to is all…”}
16. You’re actually nodding and laughing right now, filled with that warm and fuzzy feeling that “yes, I still fit in somewhere.”

Much love to my fellow freelancers! We may be spread out across the global office but our common world still unites us.

I’d love to hear any other items you’d add to this list. If I get enough responses, I’ll do an updated *2.0* post with the additional items. Just ask to be “Anonymous” if you don’t want me to attribute the item to you!

View full post on FreelanceSwitch